From being unable to afford plane tickets to feeling too ill to travel, there are dozens of reasons why a close friend or family member ends up unable to attend a funeral. Instead of feeling stressed out and sad about your inability to support your loved ones in person, focus on what is possible for you based on your specific limitations. These four ideas all help you share your condolences without having to attend the funeral in person.
Send Food Gifts
It's customary to send a bouquet of flowers to the funeral home for the service, but this isn't appropriate for some religious traditions and it's far from the most personal idea. Instead, look for delivery services that provides hot meals or ready to cook foods and send a package to the family members who were closest to the deceased. This helps you join in on the age-old and cross-cultural tradition of bringing food to the grieving family without having to show up on their doorstep in person. Even gift cards for local restaurants that deliver can help family members stay fed when they're struggling with grief.
Offer Long-Term Support
Writing a note of condolences is a good touch, but the family will likely receive dozens or even hundreds of such notes immediately after a funeral. Instead of just expressing your regret for not being able to attend, offer to support them in whatever ways possible for the months and years that come later. Many people are overwhelmed by the support they receive at first, but soon find that support drops off quickly. Offering to visit as soon as you can, to be available for talking over the phone at any time, or inviting the bereaved to visit when they can to get away from it all can really make a difference in the lives of the grieving family.
Setup a Fundraiser
Did the sudden passing of a family member leave the rest of the family scrambling to cover the costs of the funeral? Instead of just sending a donation, consider setting up a fundraiser to solicit donations from a wider group of friends and co-workers. With modern online fundraising tools, you can manage the details from any distance to take the weight of planning and requesting donations off of the family that is already busy with the funeral.
Plan a Private Memorial
Are you located near other friends and family members who also can't attend the funeral? Plan an informal memorial service for everyone to get together and attend in lieu of the funeral. You can share your memories and stories with each other and offer mutual support without having to travel long distances to connect with the rest of the bereaved. Consider recording the memorial and sending a copy to the rest of the mourners or to thefuneral home for the main service so they can see how your group honored the deceased.
Share14 June 2016
When my father passed away a year ago, my mother didn't have any problems with the funeral or burial. My father planned his funeral in advance. He didn't want to burden my mom with any problems during her time of grieving. That hit me. I realized that I didn't have any plans for my own future, which would make it even harder on my wife and kids. So, I contacted a funeral home online and requested information about burial services. The funeral home provided me with many options that I could afford to pay over time or upfront. My wife also helped select burial plots for us because we didn't want to be separated — even after death. I encourage you to read through my blog. It offers great tips and advice on how to plan for your own future. Don't wait. You never know what life holds for you.